Thursday, September 6, 2007

A Fisk On Both Your Houses

By now everyone who matters in the gunblogger community has read this as noted by Uncle.
Falling into the troll trap set by an obvious psychopath like Mr.Schannon is weak of me, but since I'm tucked away here in the backwaters of the blogosphere, and this is mostly a writing exercise I'll take up the challenge.

Oh yes, psychopath, he really believes his stuff. Dictators of old (and not so old) had a trick: they would attack someone, and then when their victim defended himself they would cast them in the role of the aggressor and claim to be in the right. Everyone knew their claims were a fig leaf to cover their viciousness - they were lying, everyone knew it, but as long as appearances were kept up, things could go along as usual. Schannon's not kidding. He really thinks he's offering a compromise, and is by now probably shaking his head with regret at the stubbornness of us gunnies.

Mister "reasoned approach" sees gun owners as falling into two groups.

hunters all dressed up in their "out-to-kill" finery, oiling stocks and cutting cross-hatches into their bullet points...
and these are the semi-okay ones who will maybe be allowed to keep some guns. The ones who own anything but hunting weapons are the crazies who need disarmed.

Oh yeah, I'm feeling the love and respect just wash over me.

It seems however, he's failed to characterize the folks at the Brady Campaign, and Violence Policy Center. How about I cover for ya, pal... "Wasp-waisted sissies all dressed up in clingy rayon with hearts, eyelashes, and wrists all aflutter at the mention of the word gun." There ya go princess, feel free to use it next time you're feeling all "reasonable".

The second amendment he decides is a
veritable smorgasbord of words that can be construed to arrive at any conclusion one wants. What the hell does it mean?
and he doesn't see how, if someone of his titanic intellect can't make heads or tails of it, anyone could. Guess all those constitutional law profs are just treading water, eh?

By my count, its twenty seven mostly one and two syllable words, three commas, and two clauses. One premise, one conclusion - us knuckle draggers with the cross-hatched bullets must not have the subtlety of mind necessary to squeeze ambiguity out of a thing like that.

I'm glad he's not a lawyer... letting a judge in on his "humble opinions" would have his clients strapped to a gurney for parking tickets..

He continues by asking...
So, how does one rationally address this issue? (Pardon me while I fall off my chair laughing.)
No, pardon me while I fall off my chair laughing at what you consider rationality.

But as he says, he's not an unreasonable guy; he's a meet you in the middle type...
But I wouldn't let my personal distaste for those chickens (like there's real danger in going after deer) interfere with my desire to strike a compromise with the pro-gunners that guarantees their right to rifles and shotguns.

You got that, all you chickens? - no pistols, nothing semi-automatic, no scary looking stuff mind you, and if you get uppity,mister
cowardly-animal-slaughterer, "old reasonable" will have to step on some necks. Call me a cynic, but if the guy's got that low of an opinion of hunters, I don't see them having a lot of future after the rest of us are disarmed.

There's a few wrinkles to work out on the road to paradise...
Of course, we have to address the automatic vs. semi-automatic issue as well as the increasing number of guns that resemble Rambo's favorite wartime toys, but once we're engaged in good faith efforts, one can hope that we can isolate the extremists on both sides. I can't believe that every pro-gunner wants an Uzi... or at least I hope not.
Well now, what could be fairer than that? You don't really want an Uzi, do you? What are you some kind of extremist?

All it takes is a little love, a little trust, realizing the other guy isn't a murderous, festering, drooling, gun-owning, retard (much). After all Mark Schannon has...
engineered this process between chemical plants and the communities in which they operate, and it takes a long, long time, as well as people who truly want a reasonable, workable solution.

Holy crap, I'd like to know where those communities are and how much green glowing goo is bubbling up through the basement floors of people who trusted "Old Reasonable".

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