Thursday, February 5, 2009

Stimulus Package II

I was looking for a hook on which to hang the next part of my post, and behold it is provided to by none other than the president himself - hope and change indeed.

To its credit, the Washington Post, left the comments section open, but rather than have my reply lost among thousands of similar missives, I shall post it here to be lost among millions of similar blogs.

I read the president’s letter in stunned disbelief. He can’t be this dumb, can he? He doesn’t really believe this crap – no one could. The Russians never took the fullest advantage of Obama’s spiritual mentor, Jimmy Carter, because the culture of the politburo was such that the dumb ones died young, leaving only the most cunning predators to run the show, and they were constitutionally incapable of believing Carter was as stupid as he seemed. They felt his clueless demeanor must have been a mask for deviousness of such subtlety that even they could not fathom its depths.

Therein lies a historical axiom for those so inclined: Both geniuses and idiots overestimate the intelligence of idiots.

It must be the same with Obama’s stimulus - a trillion dollar crap sandwich so obviously doomed to failure you’d need a PHD in political science not to see it. It must be a deep conspiracy to sink the country into socialism by wrecking the economy and making a once free people dependent on government handouts – there can be no other explanation.

But what if there is? What if the seat warmers in D.C. are simply bloated tax leeches sitting around whining, “The plan has to work, if it doesn’t, I’ll have to get a job! Hey, push that button, maybe that will get things started!"

The theory gains some merit based on the president’s prescription of what is required:

What Americans expect from Washington is action that matches the urgency they feel in their daily lives -- action that's swift, bold and wise enough for us to climb out of this crisis.

Uh, Mr. President … Americans with over room temperature IQ's know that actions from Washington are the primary cause of the urgency they feel in their daily lives - and swiftness, boldness, and wisdom – from you guys? You're kidding, right?

Could it be that simple? Does out national leadership consist of a bunch of Peter Principled numbskulls willing to sell the whole thing down the toilet because if they admit they haven't the faintest clue about what to do, they won’t get to stay in Wonderland-On-The-Potomac playing grabass with the interns?

I’m feeling a little queasy.


NotClauswitz said...

Yes indeed.
And as such they are runners in the Congressional Special Olympics who believe they can sprint past the Public with a huge bloated monstrosity, a giant hairy and toothy corpse-cyst fibrously affixed their back - unseen and unnoticed. Because they were taking action - they were running.

jana said...

Since when does the president write op-ed pieces, anyway? Has any other president done so?

Also, since when do presidents ascribe to being such downers? While they should tell us about the country's problems, I don't think it's particularly effective to threaten us with an "irreversible" depression if we don't munch down on the crap sandwich RIGHT NOW!

Less said...

Hey, you stole my line, then had the audacity to water it down!!

"Shit Sandwich!"


Cheers, mate

Anonymous said...


"Dear Congress,

Go home, sit down, and leave the economy alone. You'll only make it worse.

Thank you."